Integrity with your word. Honesty.
Most of us would agree that these are fundamental necessities in any healthy relationship. When trust is lost, the foundation of relationships crumble and it can be nearly impossible to rebuild. We have all likely lost relationships at some point in our lives because of lack of trust.
We know the implications of lost trust with others; the strain on the relationship, the uncertainty that is felt, the doubt…But this blog is not even about trust with others. We have little to no control over other people’s behaviors and actions anyways. So let’s look in the mirror and ask the better question, “what about our trust in ourselves?”
How does trust show up in your relationship with yourself?
When I ask you, “how much do you truly trust yourself?”…is it a solid “yes”? Or more like a hesitant “maybe” or “it depends”?
And how does your answer make you feel?
How trustworthy are you when it comes to your own self?
How good is your word with yourself?
Do you follow through with what you promise to yourself?
Do you do what you say you are going to do?
These are profound questions really. We tend to think more about our trust of others than we do our trust in self. We all know how important trust is in all of our other relationships so why wouldn’t we pay more attention to how we trust ourselves?
Let’s get honest with ourselves.
How many times have you not fulfilled your commitment to yourself because you just didn’t feel like it? How many exercise sessions did you sleep through this year already? How many times did you skip out on practicing that new hobby you wanted to develop? How many times did you go rogue on your nutrition because of some excuse that you came up with?
I’m not here to criticize you on your quality of habits… I’m here to challenge you in taking a close look at your lack of habits and why you are failing at getting what you say you want! It is likely because you just aren’t keeping your word with yourself.
Stop giving yourself the option to opt out!
It is too easy to just not do the things we say we are going to do. It is too simple to break our own commitments to ourselves when we think we are the only ones who are being affected by not following through. But really, every time we don’t follow through with what we said we were going to do, we begin to lose trust in ourselves. And the more we don’t do what you say we are going to do, the easier it becomes to not do it. The very essence of who we are begins to shift. We begin to lack integrity with our own word to ourselves. Opting out then can become a habit. Subconsciously we can begin to lose trust, one of the most fundamental characteristics and building blocks of all relationships, with ourselves.
Your lack of integrity with your word to yourself may be what is causing you to not get what you want.
So here’s the thing…we must consider how trust is built. Trust is built over time and occurrences. Sometimes trust can be built over a short period in certain circumstances, but in general, trust is often developed over time and repetition. The more you show up for yourself like you intended, the more trust you develop within yourself. Over time, your character becomes one of action, trust, and commitment. You become impeccable with your own word to yourself. The naysayers and the negative thoughts in your head begin to quiet as you strengthen this new muscle of habit and integrity with yourself. Confidence and momentum also follow. Trust develops over time by showing up for others. We must do the same for ourselves.
So here’s the real reason for this blog…my story:
its 5am on Thursday morning and I committed to a weekly blog 6 weeks ago. I have been publishing the blog every Thursday morning by 0800. And here I am pushing it to the last minute. Last night I wrestled for a bit in my mind and I started to consider not doing it this week. I was thinking that no one would likely notice or miss it. I began to tell myself that I was too tired and probably needed sleep more than anything. But then I remembered all that I shared above here. And I knew I would regret not taking action on what I committed myself to. I knew I would let myself down and disappoint if I didn't follow through. So I deciding opting out was not an option. It is not a part of who I am. In making up my mind then, I also found exactly what I would write about…and so here it is.
I know that if I skip out on one week then it will just be easier to skip out on another and then later another…and then eventually quit doing it all together. Because not doing it is easier than doing it. But I also know that it doesn’t get me to where and who I want. Creating this weekly blog is part of a bigger plan for me, both in who and where I want to be. That is why this commitment is important. I am choosing to show up for my future self. Showing up consistently creates momentum and in time it all becomes easier and second nature. It becomes who we are. If I continue with a weekly blog through the year…then a blogger becomes part of who I am.
I build more trust and confidence with myself every time I feel the hesitation, the resistance and still take action anyways. It almost feels like I go into battle with my own self and win! ATTA GIRL, Jenny! You slayed that dragon today! The resistance will always be there in different degrees. Stop using excuses and just do it. Taking action feels good.
Keep showing up for yourself. Keep integrity with your word and keep your commitments to yourself.
Most people won’t notice when we break our word with ourselves, but we sure do, and we begin to lose faith and trust in ourselves. So take action consistently and do what you said you were going to do. Keep your commitments to yourself. This is how you create habits that lead to the character and person you want to be.